Do you have the guts to try?

Steve "Pre" Prefontaine was a runner from a small town, who with one leg shorter then the other, ran track for the University of Oregon in the 1970s.

He is known for a saying,"I run not to see who is the fastest, but to see who has the most guts."

Well. it didn't hurt that Pre WAS the fastest, having over 7 American speed records, but you get his point.

As some of you know and some of you don't, my beautiful, funny, smart, and creative daughter, Lauren, was diagnosed as having High Functioning Austism. And YES, I know she doesnt LOOK like she has autism. She looks like Lauren.

A year and a half ago, Lauren was found to have developmental delay (speech and gross motor/physical) We started therapy and then the day after her 3rd birthday she started a developmental preschool through the school district. I could not have had picked a better classroom for her. The creativity in her classroom is such a perfect match for Lauren. Oh, and they do a cooking project every Thursday. Can you say fun? She has made such huges gains that her hard to notice Autism is now even harder to notice.

"so what does this have to do with running?" you may be asking. I'm getting there.

To "qualify" for Lauren's school you need to have moderate to significant delays in one or more areas of development (speech, gross motor, fine motor, adaptive, self help, ect).

Lauren's school had their school walkathon yesterday. I am so glad I wore sunglasses.

It was a small little course around their playground. Nothing huge but for some of these kids a single lap was HUGE.

There were kids with leg braces, kids with walker, kids in wheelchairs, kids with feeding tubes, kids with trach/breathing tubes, kids with neurodevelopmental challenges. ALL of them out there on the black top giving it their all. Some did one lap. Some ran for 20 minutes straight. So many of them digging deep and giving it their all.

There was the cutest little 3yr old with pigtails who ran, yep, 3 laps with the biggest smile. She didn't let her down-syndrome stop her.

There was a 5year old girl who walked hand in hand with me. She kept looking at me, her eyes saying "tell me I can do this." And she did! She beamed when she finished her last lap.

There was a 4yr old girl from Lauren's class who rode a custom made trike. She has a severe form of dwarfism that makes walking long distances pretty much impossible. So she rode and rode and rode.

Inspiration and determination was overflowing from that school yard.
With each hand I held, each high-five I gave, I learned it isn't about how fast you run or how far you go. It's about just going. It's about showing up to that starting line. Some days you may race like a champion. Other day you struggle from the word go. All that matters is you TRY.

Do you have the guts to try?

"My mommy is going running"

You know how they say running is 10% physical 90% mental. I am really finding that to be true. The mental part is kicking my ass. As the miles come easier, the more I struggle.

I look at all the other runners and all I see are lean physiques and I feel like an elephant running with a bunch of zebras. My hydration belt I use to carry water on my runs only accentuates my muffin to even more. Making me feel even more out of place. I huff and I puff. I chaff in places I didn't know you could chaff. I finish long after everyone one else.

But I do it. I may say a few choice words but I do it. I lace up my shoes and I go. I trudge. Putting one foot in front of the other. I keep going knowing that the pain is only temporary and that there is an ending out there somewhere. And I do this while exclusively breastfeeding a 6month old who is up 4-5 times during the night.

I am doing this because I want to be a heather person. I do this because there is no "real" reason why I can't. I'm doing this to feel that feeling of accomplishment. I'm doing this to show my girls that with hard work even lofty goals are possible. I do this because I want something that is just mine.

As I was driving away tonight, I heard my 4 yr old little girl say to another little girl "my mommy is going running." Yes your mommy is.

"I may not run far. I may not run fast. But I run. And that makes me a runner." - John Bingham